happy father's day, daddy.

i know i'm a couple days late, but that's appropriate for my father.  i've been mulling over this post for a couple days, bacause i wanted to post something, but i didn't know what.  i thought about a few funny ecentricities, like his long beard that caused small children to call him santa claus and adults to ask if he played for ZZ Top, or the fact that he wore nothing but overalls and a white t-shirt for most of my life.  i thought about how hard his life was with an abusive alcohalic father, then divorced parents, then five step siblings.  how he joined the navy because he came home one day to find that he had been robbed of everything, including his refrigerater, so he called the navy and the army and said whoever got there first got him.  how he learned everything he possibly could while in the navy and then put it to work when he got out.  we weren't ever rich, but he worked hard and i remember how proud we all were when two different companies spent a week one upping each other, trying to get him to work for them.  i remember how the world seemed to grind to a halt the day my brother died, and how he never was the same again.  i remember how frail he seemed to me the last time i saw him just before years of alcohal, smoking and drug abuse finally caught up with him.  but mostly i remember that all my life, i knew that he thought i was wonderful.  he thought i could do anything and he would do anything to help me reach my dreams.  even when i failed, he still treated me like he thought i was the best, and encouraged me to keep going, because i could do whatever i wanted.  i want more than anything to give that to noah, the knowledge that his parents believe in him and will love him no matter what.  i want him to walk in the confidence of his own personal cheering section (kinda like those starbucks commercials) each and every day.  i wish more of my friends and especially mymr.jonjon could have known him before everything changed, he was a good man, and i really miss him.